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Story: Fifty Things Ianto Jones Learnt on his First Date With Captain Jack Harkness
Author: Melinda Kitty![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
melindakitty
Characters: Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Rated: oh, so Adult for slash, mature content, lots of sex (mostly implied)
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, 'cause if I did there would be no doubt who Jack came back for and everyone would cheer the f*** up and stop being so angsty.
Spoilers: Inspired by the very sweet conversation in "KissKissBangBang". I know I'm not the first to do this, but I couldn't resist.
Summary: Jack/Ianto OTP. The title pretty much says it all. Slashy crack with heated fluffy overtones.
1) Jack is physically incapable of arriving anywhere on time.
2) Checking one’s watch at regular intervals only serves to heighten one’s annoyance.
3) The apologetic kiss hello is almost worth the wait.
4) Jack has sensational taste in restaurants.
5) And wine.
6) And he tips generously, even by American standards.
7) Though the exterior of the second-run cinema may be off-putting, having the darkened theatre to one’s selves does have certain advantages.
8) Always offer to hold the oversized bucket of American-style popcorn.
9) Action films, though neither romantic nor particularly intellectually stimulating, do offer excellent audio camouflage.
10) When on the receiving end of a truly fantastic hand job, take care not to be too enthusiastic.
11) Bored, underpaid ushers have no sense of humour.
12) Jack’s spectacular grin will only infuriate a homophobic manager.
13) There are some things not even Jack can charm his way out of.
14) Jack takes a certain perverse glee in being thrown out of establishments. (And even the most paltry audience only makes it worse.)
15) The enthusiastic snog of apology almost makes the public humiliation worthwhile.
16) Always invite Jack up for a drink.
17) “Drink” is always a euphemism.
18) Don’t bother wondering where your clothes went; you can always look for them later.
19) When Jack offers the handcuffs, say yes.
20) When Jack offers the blindfold, say yes.
21) When Jack offers just about anything, say yes.
22) Every rumour about the erotic applications of ice cubes is true.
23) Jack has a wicked and somewhat perverse sense of humour.
24) Though he will eventually produce the keys to the cuffs.
25) And with enough convincing, will actually use them for their intended purpose.
26) Jack is as generous with his affection as he is with everything else.
27) He is also ticklish.
28) And thoroughly enjoys being topped.
29) And is beautiful in the throes of passion.
30) When one has one’s boss handcuffed to the headboard, do NOT lose the keys to the cuffs.
31) Hacksaws can be terribly handy. (If only to see the look of abject terror on Jack’s face.)
32) Once freed, Jack’s revenge can be fun.
33) No warmth is quite so blissfully satisfying as afterglow beneath a down duvet.
34) When one wakes to a lonely bed, it can simply mean Jack is cooking breakfast.
35) Never let Jack cook breakfast. (Or any meal involving the use of fire.)
36) Despite Jack’s reassurances, the smoke detector is NOT a suitable substitute for a kitchen timer.
37) Jack is adorable when he panics.
38) A well-placed lid and a wet tea towel can easily contain most small grease fires.
39) The fire brigade has a sense of humour.
40) And the number for a lovely bistro that delivers American-style breakfast.
41) And a skeleton key to open the handcuff on Jack’s other wrist.
42) Public humiliation will be the price of truly fantastic sex with Jack.
43) It’s worth it.
44) Jack can be oddly domestic in the wake of a minor disaster.
45) And he may even have been in earnest when he said he came back because of Ianto.
46) A hot shag on the kitchen counter is a suitable apology for fire damage.
47) Especially when Jack also has the number of truly competent builders on autodial.
48) Some things are worth missing a day of work for.
49) Sometimes the best course of action is to abandon the stopwatch on the dresser.
50) Even if Ianto didn’t swing both ways, he would always love Jack.
Author: Melinda Kitty
melindakitty Characters: Captain Jack Harkness, Ianto Jones
Rated: oh, so Adult for slash, mature content, lots of sex (mostly implied)
Disclaimer: I don't own 'em, 'cause if I did there would be no doubt who Jack came back for and everyone would cheer the f*** up and stop being so angsty.
Spoilers: Inspired by the very sweet conversation in "KissKissBangBang". I know I'm not the first to do this, but I couldn't resist.
Summary: Jack/Ianto OTP. The title pretty much says it all. Slashy crack with heated fluffy overtones.
1) Jack is physically incapable of arriving anywhere on time.
2) Checking one’s watch at regular intervals only serves to heighten one’s annoyance.
3) The apologetic kiss hello is almost worth the wait.
4) Jack has sensational taste in restaurants.
5) And wine.
6) And he tips generously, even by American standards.
7) Though the exterior of the second-run cinema may be off-putting, having the darkened theatre to one’s selves does have certain advantages.
8) Always offer to hold the oversized bucket of American-style popcorn.
9) Action films, though neither romantic nor particularly intellectually stimulating, do offer excellent audio camouflage.
10) When on the receiving end of a truly fantastic hand job, take care not to be too enthusiastic.
11) Bored, underpaid ushers have no sense of humour.
12) Jack’s spectacular grin will only infuriate a homophobic manager.
13) There are some things not even Jack can charm his way out of.
14) Jack takes a certain perverse glee in being thrown out of establishments. (And even the most paltry audience only makes it worse.)
15) The enthusiastic snog of apology almost makes the public humiliation worthwhile.
16) Always invite Jack up for a drink.
17) “Drink” is always a euphemism.
18) Don’t bother wondering where your clothes went; you can always look for them later.
19) When Jack offers the handcuffs, say yes.
20) When Jack offers the blindfold, say yes.
21) When Jack offers just about anything, say yes.
22) Every rumour about the erotic applications of ice cubes is true.
23) Jack has a wicked and somewhat perverse sense of humour.
24) Though he will eventually produce the keys to the cuffs.
25) And with enough convincing, will actually use them for their intended purpose.
26) Jack is as generous with his affection as he is with everything else.
27) He is also ticklish.
28) And thoroughly enjoys being topped.
29) And is beautiful in the throes of passion.
30) When one has one’s boss handcuffed to the headboard, do NOT lose the keys to the cuffs.
31) Hacksaws can be terribly handy. (If only to see the look of abject terror on Jack’s face.)
32) Once freed, Jack’s revenge can be fun.
33) No warmth is quite so blissfully satisfying as afterglow beneath a down duvet.
34) When one wakes to a lonely bed, it can simply mean Jack is cooking breakfast.
35) Never let Jack cook breakfast. (Or any meal involving the use of fire.)
36) Despite Jack’s reassurances, the smoke detector is NOT a suitable substitute for a kitchen timer.
37) Jack is adorable when he panics.
38) A well-placed lid and a wet tea towel can easily contain most small grease fires.
39) The fire brigade has a sense of humour.
40) And the number for a lovely bistro that delivers American-style breakfast.
41) And a skeleton key to open the handcuff on Jack’s other wrist.
42) Public humiliation will be the price of truly fantastic sex with Jack.
43) It’s worth it.
44) Jack can be oddly domestic in the wake of a minor disaster.
45) And he may even have been in earnest when he said he came back because of Ianto.
46) A hot shag on the kitchen counter is a suitable apology for fire damage.
47) Especially when Jack also has the number of truly competent builders on autodial.
48) Some things are worth missing a day of work for.
49) Sometimes the best course of action is to abandon the stopwatch on the dresser.
50) Even if Ianto didn’t swing both ways, he would always love Jack.
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