Friday Night Crack!Fic, and a meme!

[loveslashangst]

Hi All! O and LSA here: O had a seriously shitty afternoon involving car breakdowns on major freeways, and repairs she can't really afford, so by way of cheering her up, we thought we'd post more from the Crack!Fic IM Archives.

LSA sez: O and I are quite often several chapters ahead of where the story is, creating the world we're planning to go to. Because this is a fairytale, there will be love and romance and weddings AND (because John is the kind to protect his husband) a bit of body-modification for Ianto.

O sez: Since the symbiont is one of my favorite concepts, we got into this discussion about their "personalities" and "worst ones to get stuck with."

LSA sez: And we got to discussing how Ianto would get on with his new friend. As I'm fond of saying in scripts,

OM: oh god
OM: his worm isn't emo
OM: it's CHIPPER
OM: like a nightmare nurse
OM: ALL. THE. TIME.
LSA: THAT would be even worse;
LSA: Won't let Ianto be emo.
OM: wouldn't it? like some perky Californian 18-year-old
OM: \cheer up, owner! what if we go make coffee? I like coffee! and it always makes you feel better!\\
OM: \or shoe shopping! Ooh, data says there’s a GREAT mall in the Cygnus cluster, about 4325 PHE or so, and they’re having huge sales! Let’s go!\\
OM: Ianto, "I have the only symbiont on the planet whose addiction is to my credit cards."
OM: Ianto, "And Manohlo Blahnik shoes."
OM: John, "It wants shoes?" *looks bemused*
OM: Ianto, "And its own cell phone. Pink."
LSA: Jack, "what kind of shoes?"
OM: Ianto, *consults momentarily*
OM: "They're black with little ankle straps. and four-inch heels. and a.. bow or something on the toe. I'm getting a pic from a magazine of some kind."
OM: Jack, *holds up latest Vogue with pic of shoes*
OM: Ianto, *stares wordlessly at pic*
OM: Ianto, *blankly* "My worm reads Vogue?"
OM: Ianto, "it thinks those are the right shoes. It's, erm, wriggling. Does that mean it's happy?"
OM: John, "I believe the word you're looking for is 'shoegasm'."
OM: Ianto, "Right. I am NOT buying you those shoes. No. Look, one of my feet wouldn't fit into both of them together. You can't even wear them. I don't CARE if they're the last word in Milan."
OM: Jack, "You know, you CAN get them in your size. You just won't be able to see them over your tummy in a month or so."
OM: Ianto, *starts to cry* "You think I'm fat?"
OM: John, *edges out the door in preparation for flight*
LSA: Gwen *smacks Jack upside the head*
LSA: Gwen, "You DESERVE this one."
OM: Ianto, *sniffling* "WE want double-fudge brownie ice cream. And pepperoni and pineapple pizza. And just for that, I'm buying the shoes, and putting them on Torchwood's expense account."
OM: Gwen, "You should get them in a size 8 1/2. Just suggesting."
LSA: John *tries not to prick up his ears too pointedly*
LSA: Jack *glares* "You'd never wear them for me."
LSA: John, "Maybe you didn't ask nicely enough."
OM: Gwen, "Who says I meant an 8 1/2 mens?" *grabs magazine from Jack's hand, flops on couch, and demands footrub by plopping bare feet into Rhys's lap*
LSA: Rhys *eyeroll*
LSA: John *to Jack*, "For reference, THAT wasn't nicely."
LSA: Gwen *snake eyes*
OM: Ianto, *waves nail varnish at Gwen*
OM: Rhys, "You won't be able to see them either, dearest." *rubs 7 month tummy proprietarily*
OM: Gwen, "Right, that's both of you on the couch then. And Jack, that does not mean you have permission to seduce Rhys."
LSA: Rhys, "As if I would."
OM: Jack, "Hey."
OM: Rhys, "Too much meat on the bone. if you know what I mean."
OM: John *loses it completely*
OM: Ianto *chokes on his spoonful of ice cream*

LSA: SO
LSA: Chapter 33
OM: ah, yes.
[Snip discussion of current resolution of cliffhanger.]

OM: I'm serious about giving Ianto an 18-year-old perky!worm though
OM: with a fixation on Vogue and Cosmo
OM: because, imagine what 51st-century Cosmo quizzes are like
LSA: YES!!!
OM: things that make it happy:
OM: fashion magazines: shoes: drinking: driving really fast: shoes
OM: evening dresses: shopping: more shoes: facials & mani/pedis
OM: and Ianto's credit card
OM: John, "I did tell you they all have addictive personalities."
OM: Ianto, "I thought you meant like to arsenic or something. Why the hell does it want Ferragamo?"
OM: John, "Don't worry, it'll grow up eventually."
OM: Jack, "Into what? Fetish thigh-high boots and latex?"
OM: Jack, *looks momentarily glazed over*

OM: so. 33?
[More discussion of chapter.]

OM: I'm obsessed with this idea now.
OM: I totally want to write cosmo quizzes for the 52nd century girl
OM: how to please your Tau Ceti boyfriend in bed
OM: please kill me
LSA: *dissolves into uncontrollable laughter and takes oath that Perky!Worm is now canon*


Also, we saw a neat meme posted in earlgreytea68's LJ, and we have decided that we would like to play:

Pick a character that I have written, or that you know I have substantial headcanon about, and ask any five questions about him/her. Be sure to specify whether you would like responses to be OOC (responding as the writer) or IC (responding as the character).

LSA: "Yes, I will respond to all the gorgeous reviews I've had on the last 2 chapters. But I've had such fantastic reactions and analyses that it makes earlgreytea's meme all that much more fun!"

O: So, pick your targets and ask your questions in comments, and we'll let John loose answer you in further entries...